Secrets To Happiness
The key to a good happy life is the cultivation of an excellent mental state, which is identified with virtue and being rational. The ideal life is one that is in harmony with Nature, of which we are all part and an attitude of calm indifference towards external events.
Audio - https://youtu.be/pKYB31lGR1w
Control how you think.
The two foundational principles are, first is that some things are within our control and some are not, and that much of our unhappiness is caused by thinking that we can control things that, in fact, we can’t.
We can control very little. We don’t control what happens to us, we can’t control what the people around us say or do, and we can’t even fully control our own bodies, which get damaged, sick and ultimately die without regard for our preferences. The only thing that we really control is how we think about things, the judgements we make about things.
This leads us to the second foundational principle: it’s not things that upset us, but how we think about things. We then make judgements about what happens. If we judge that something really bad has happened, then we might get upset, sad, or angry, depending on what it is. If we judge that something bad is likely to happen then we might get scared or fearful. All these emotions are the product of the judgements we make. Things in themselves are value-neutral, for what might seem terrible to us might be a matter of indifference to someone else, or even welcomed by others. It’s the judgements we make that introduce value into the picture, and it’s those value judgements that generate our emotional responses.
The good news is that these value judgements are the one thing over which we have complete control. Things happen, none of which are inherently good or bad, and it’s within our power to decide how we value them. The paradox is that we have almost no control over anything, yet at the same time, we have potentially complete control over our happiness.
Train your mind.
At first glance, this might seem to understate the very real challenges that people face in their daily lives. How can just thinking differently help someone who is struggling with life that can be hard sometimes?
It is all too easy to say I am not going to let these external things disturb me, but quite another to follow through and not be disturbed.
So we can develop a whole series of practical exercises designed to help train us to incorporate good values into our daily lives by taking stock at the end of each day, noting when we become irritated by something trivial, or act angrily in response to someone who perhaps didn’t deserve it, and so on. By noting their mistakes and hope to do better the next day.
Another strategy is by reminding yourself each morning that we will probably encounter a lot of angry, stressed, impatient, ungrateful people during the day. By reflecting on this in advance, we can be prepared to respond in kind. But also reflect on the fact that none of these people would be like this intentionally. They are the victims of their own mistaken judgements.
Here we get another paradox: no one chooses to be unhappy, stressed, angry, miserable, and yet these are in fact all the product of our judgements, the one thing within our control.
Accept what happens.
Another strategy is to remind ourselves of our relative unimportance. The world does not revolve around us. Our lives are but moments when placed within the Divine perspective. Given this, why should we expect the Almighty to deliver whatever it is that we might want to happen? On the contrary, it would be absurd to expect it to conform to our will.
If you expect the Almighty to deliver what you want, you are going to be disappointed, but if you embrace whatever Allah gives, then life will be a whole lot smoother. Again, this is easier said than done, but more and more people are taking note of this advice and working hard to incorporate it into their daily lives.
